How do you usually understand the idea of 'selfishness'? Do you agree with Kisa Gotami that she was being 'selfish in her grief'?
We usually understand selfishness as being concerned only with one's own needs, desires, and suffering, without considering others or the shared human experience. It means prioritising one's personal interests and grief over the reality that others face similar struggles.
Yes, I agree with Kisa Gotami that she was being 'selfish in her grief'. When her son died, she went from house to house seeking medicine to cure him, completely consumed by her own sorrow. She failed to recognise that death is a universal truth that touches every household.
Her selfishness lay in believing that her loss was unique and that her suffering was hers alone. She did not see that the families she approached had also lost beloved ones. As the people told her, 'the living are few, but the dead are many' — yet she was blind to their grief because she was trapped in her own.
It was only after the Buddha's guidance that she understood death is common to all. Watching the city lights flicker and die, she realised that human lives too flicker up and are extinguished. This awareness made her recognise her selfishness — she had been mourning in isolation, ignoring the shared nature of human suffering. Surrendering this selfishness, she found the path that leads to immortality.
Explanation
The question tests students' understanding of the concept of selfishness and their ability to apply it to Kisa Gotami's situation from the chapter 'The Sermon at Benares'. The context shows Kisa Gotami's realisation that she was 'selfish in her grief' when she understood that death is universal. Students should connect the general understanding of selfishness (self-centredness, lack of consideration for others) with Kisa Gotami's specific situation where she was so consumed by her own grief that she failed to see that every household had experienced death. The Buddha's lesson helped her see beyond her personal sorrow to the universal human condition.
Solution Steps
Step 1: Define selfishness in general terms — being concerned only with one's own needs and suffering without considering others
Step 2: Connect this definition to Kisa Gotami's behaviour — she was consumed by her own grief and sought medicine for her dead son without recognising death is universal
Step 3: Explain why this was selfish — she believed her loss was unique and ignored that every family she approached had also lost loved ones
Step 4: Show how the Buddha's lesson changed her understanding — she realised 'the living are few, but the dead are many' and that death is common to all
Step 5: Conclude with her realisation and the idea that surrendering selfishness leads to the path of immortality